At first it felt like dying, and then I was reborn. I. It’s raining outside. I’m sitting on the porch in a house in the mountains watching the raindrops fall from the sky onto the trees. Drenching their leaves and barks, making the sound only water makes when it falls from a great height and hits a leaf, then slides down the length of the green, off its tip, and gets soaked up by the earth. Dark gray clouds have formed a thick blanket over the mountain and there’s a fog rising from the ravine below. The entire mountaintop is shrouded in mist and the whole setting makes it impossible to resist the feeling that maybe, just maybe, magic is real.
thank you so much for sharing this. i'm in awe (and tears). i think this is my favorite sentence:
> I’m still coming to terms with the fact that the parents in my head will never exist, and maybe never did.
> I had to dig out parts of myself that were long forgotten, that were hidden deep in my memory bank and yet were driving my decisions in the present day like they were in charge of my entire life. I was astonished to realize how much of my life I was living on autopilot because I spent most of my time obsessing about my past and future interactions with my parents.
it really do be like that sometimes huh!